The Reason I Don’t Like Fear

A friend recently tagged me in a shared blog post on Facebook. This post about fear. Or should I say on not fearing for 31 days. Take a couple minutes to read it and then come back to read my thoughts on why I don’t like fear.

ChairsFromTheCurbI started reading this post and thought, “Why does Karmen [friend, not the author] think I am fearful?” I read the original writer’s Top 10 fears and thought, “I don’t fear any of these, so why did Karmen feel led to tag me?” I continued reading, skeptical that this was a post I was meant to be tagged in. And then it hit me when I read these two lines,

We aren’t supposed to be fearless in our Christian walks.
We are supposed to keep walking in spite of our fears.

Two lines. Short. Direct. Thoughtful. And in those two lines, I understood.

You see, my fear in life is being successful. I have been exploring this fear because in it lies many other fears – ones I don’t want to address. Ones I have avoided identifying. But until I identify them, I can’t truly overcome them. Because of this, they are able to creep up on me when I least expect it. To fear success, one must possess underlying fears, such as fear of not being able to live up to the success – oh wait…that would be failure. Yup, the truth is that when you fear success, you also fear failure – failing others, failing yourself, failing society at large. If I don’t fulfill my purpose, which is larger than I am capable of achieving on my own, I don’t to have to risk rejection (oopps, there’s another one) on my way toward that success as I partner with other people. I don’t have to risk failing (there it is) them if I don’t do things perfectly (could that be another…fear of mediocrity), or worse…If I don’t do them at all.

All of these thoughts just from those two lines. Read them again. Let them sink in.

We aren’t supposed to be fearless in our Christian walks.
We are supposed to keep walking in spite of our fears.

You see, when I read this, realizing that I don’t have to be fearless. I don’t have to be on this “Yes” trip of always going with whatever I feel the Spirit is saying even when I am scared out of my mind because I am afraid to walk into my success. I don’t have to be afraid of success. I don’t have to be afraid of becoming everything I want to be.

And this got me thinking. And that made me realize something.

I don’t like fear.

The reason I don’t like fear is that it holds too many people back from becoming all they are capable of becoming. It allows them to remain stuck and settle for less than they are purposed to accomplish in their lifetime. It allows dreams to go unrealized, words to go unsaid, movements to remain unstarted. (I know that may not really be a word…but let’s agree that when “awesomesauce” was entered into Webster as an official word the English language became destined for a slow death and all words became fair play in creative and blog-type writing.)

I don’t want to be discontinued.

I don’t want to end early.

I don’t want to do anything other than walk out the life that I am purposed within my spirit and heart to live. Whatever that looks like. Whoever that involves me talking to.

The reason I don’t like fear is that despite my changes and risks over the past few years, this fear of success has held me back every time I sit down to type the rest of my book, every time I go to prepare the webinars and classes for to discuss essential oils and essential oil-based products, every time I go to teach a class of teenagers and remind them of how amazing they are and how they don’t have to sell out because they want to be different.

Fear – I hate it.

And so I kept reading the post. And that’s when Karmen (the author, not my friend who tagged me in the post) mentioned the armor of God, which made me think about this picture I found online that showed a woman in the full armor of God.

Please go to the website and check it out. She did a wonderful job on this and shares many other great resources you can use!

And then it all clicked…

If I put on the full armor of God daily, and I stand prepared to encounter ANYTHING that comes my way, I will not stand in fear, because one does not fear when they are standing protected. So my fear of success comes from a place of not being fully clothed in the armor of God, not taking up my shield and sword daily, hourly, and so forth.

Because when I have the full armor of God on my body and when I have prepared for the day, no amount of success, failure, rejection will deter me. Instead I will stand strong and know that regardless of what my future holds, I am going to stand before my God and King at the end of my life and know I left nothing behind and I did my best to ensure all around me knew how much they meant to me and to Him. I will stand before Him knowing that I did not withhold any gifts, any talents, any abilities, any thoughts (okay, maybe some thoughts at some times, but not ones that God wouldn’t probably want me to to withhold!). I will stand there knowing that I did all I purposed to do in this life, even if at times it was later than I could have done it if I didn’t allow fear to get in the way.

So I am going to take the reading and viewing lessons from this past week and apply them in this next week. I am going to meet my writing goals, go out and get that job I have been wanting to get, and become that mom and friend I know I am capable of being. I am going to look in the mirror and know that I am not going to fail anyone because I have all the tools that I need to succeed and the best possible mentor ever watching over me to help me as I walk toward that success. And when I reach it, I will stand there smiling as I invest in companies who would not otherwise see their dreams realized, in authors who want to publish but are unable to cover the editing and publishing fees, in charities that want to help their communities but lack funding. I will stand there smiling as people read my books and understand for the first time that they truly possess all the talent they need to accomplish all they want to in this life. I will smile as I watch my family, friends, and future friends help others because they are empowered, equipped, and entrusted to do so. I will smile. Wide. Deep. Without fear.

The reason I don’t like fear is that it took me nearly 39 years to accomplish something I was probably able to do much earlier. But that isn’t going to stop me from making up for lost time.

How about you – what fear is holding you back? Check out Melanie’s (the original poster of the fear list) blog, Blue Marble God, to follow how she chose to live without fear for 31 days. See if you can do the same. Let’s all kick fear in the face and rise above it.

Until next time,

~Shell

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Karmen says:

    This is why I shared it, “Fear keeps us from being who we were intended to be.”
    Along with all those other great things, based on our conversations about success.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. And that’s why I love you. You know just what to share and when… This one has moved me.

      Like

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